AN A-Z OF EMOTIONAL PAIN: REJECTION
The pain of rejection is real and usually happens early in life. Our values are set at around the age of seven. Think back to when you were seven years old. Think of the politics of the day, the headlines in the newspapers, the music you heard and liked, religious teachings, the heroes you worshipped. Remember the teacher you loved or hated? What were your favourite subjects at school? What were the social values at that time? Observe the changes now and your response to them.
Today, the media presents us with a time of seemingly great unrest: divorce is common; violence is highlighted daily on radio, television and in newspapers; we hear music that neither soothes nor aids the healing of our minds or bodies. The messages are stimulation, instant gratification and instant excitement.
We have to determine where we are in life, before we can attempt to understand where young people are at today. They are troubled by the insecurity of disrupted family life. People don’t know how to communicate. The kids of today who get into trouble are hitting back at a society which has hurt them. If parents make the mistake of condemning the child instead of their behaviour, a communication gap is created and a message of complete disapproval is voiced.
To bridge this gap, we need to watch our sloppy language. How we speak is important. Children learn to understand society’s unwritten laws of behaviour through making mistakes. It is up to us to reaffirm that we love them, even if we can’t accept their behaviour or their attitudes. They must feel loved and
accepted it’s only their behaviour that we are not prepared to tolerate. This way their self-esteem remains intact.
There are great personal development courses for children and teenagers available, with names like: Discovery, Piece of Mind, Learning Adventures, Free To Be Me, and Outward Bound. They educate children to raise their self-esteem and teach parents how to communicate love and not belittle their offspring. This results in improved understanding between the generations.
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